Soulmates

Last week I had a really rough call that put me in to a bit of a tailspin and put a few things back in to perspective, providing some much needed clarification and a reminder that life is good when you have your "people", your soulmates, around you.

 

 

 

Your soulmate can be a bestie, a BFF, family, a new friend, an old friend, a lover...anyone who inspires you, challenges you, makes you laugh, lets you cry, lets you know when you messed up, and supports you through good times and bad. Don't let these people go. 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is short...don't ever forget that. One day you may come home and your loved one is gone...just like that, unexpectedly and devastatingly. You had no idea this was coming and over the next while you will run through all the thoughts in your mind of what was said, not said, done or not done. The regret that you didn't take the time you wanted to, or should have. Please, don't wait, don't hesitate. 

 

 

 

Tell them you love them. Kiss them because you want to let them know they are loved. Touch them. Hug them a little bit tighter, that one last time before you go. Laugh with them, joke around, smile with your eyes, allow yourself the pure joy of being in their presence. Cuddle with them. Share what you have when you can, and if you can't, then help them get what they need. Share their passions, help them find theirs if they don't know what that is yet. Have three hour conversations on the phone, or face to face. Challenge them, be challenged by them. Help them find strength through  their struggles reminding them that, while this fucking sucks right now, they are not alone. Inspire them and be inspired by them. Get drunk with them, fall down the stairs and let them laugh at you. Go on adventures together. Get tattoos, take a silent road trip, sing songs together, play games, tell stories around the fire. Compare scars, the visible and invisible. Tell them your secrets, listen to theirs. Open your heart to them. Let them see your vulnerability, don't shy away from theirs. Just...love them, unconditionally.

 

 

 

 

To my soulmates - I will meet you...wherever you are. I see you...just as you are.  I love you...just as you are meant to be.

Communication - two lane highway or rock strewn trail?

When you have had interactions with people on a daily basis, be it an acquaintance at work or the hottest of romances, it is generally considered a relationship. When we are in a relationship, there is usually a question of how much communication is really expected/desired between each participant. Now, it has long been said that communication is a two-way street, but...

How much traffic should be travelling on that road, and what kind of hazards are we dealing with?

If communication is supposed to be a two-way street, what is it that makes me feel like I am travelling down the highway of information, alone, in the wrong direction and in pea-soup fog? When there is a lack of communication, you can feel quite alone, confused and be left wondering "what the Fuck Dude?!"

So here is the question - how much communication is enough, and who gets to determine that? How much consideration do we need to give to what the other person needs?

So here is what I have come up with, for myself. I have no control over what other people choose to tell me or not to tell me - not matter what the situation. Whether it be why they are in such a pissy mood, or why they have chosen not to talk to me anymore. Whatever decision they have made is their decision, and even if it does affect me directly, I don't always need (or get) to know why. Oh I may want to ask, and hey, sometimes I may even ask, but that doesn't mean I have the right to know.

The only thing I can control is my reaction to the situation, and ensure that I have done all I can to make sure that my side of the line is open for when something may be said to me. What I have found is that if I am open  in my communication, it will sometimes (and quite often) come back to me positively.

For example, if I am open with someone and let them know why I'm in a pissy mood - then that person may be more willing to let me know what is going on with them. If I am open with how I feel about someone, then they may be more likely to be open with me. Is it a fool-proof method - hell no! Sometimes it will come back to bite me in the ass, or I won't get a response at all. And that's ok. Because at the core of it, I know that I have done my level best to make sure that Talking Street is open in the other lane so that if someone is coming my way, I am in their line of sight, and not blocking their lane.

So really, what I am trying to say is - get on the road, go for a drive, follow your own lead and see where it takes you. You never know, you just might end up with a travelling partner.